This looks like a painting I would laugh at if I came across it in Magic: The Gathering. (Which I have never played, but want to.) The artist who painted this was clearly trying really hard, and clearly didn’t know where to start or what to omit, and as a result we have a sloppy excuse for a portrait.

That’s not true. Nor is it fair. I should give myself some credit. Portraits are really hard. I really should cut myself some slack.

At first, I drew the major shapes:

Then I used my drafting compass to measure off the eyes, and the found the proportions of the head using the eye. Turns out my head is seven eyes wide, and ten eyes tall.

With the large shapes in place I very carefully misplaced all the rest of my face.

Then, I flipped the image to see if I could figure out what was wrong.

The eyes are way off. The head is too tall. The nose is broken and sideways.

So I fixed the eyes, and prayed no one would see the nose.

I’m sick of writing about this, so here are pictures.

The end.